Many parents ask "Why do bad things happen to good kids?" Why do teens, who were raised by caring parents, participate in senseless and sometimes violent behavior?
Recent brain research may hold some answers to these questions. Scientists have found that critical brain growth isn’t completed until the mid-twenties. The part of the brain that helps us anticipate the consequences of our decisions, the pre-frontal cortex, takes longer to mature than the rest of the brain.
Dopamine, a powerful brain chemical that peaks during adolescence, also plays a role in teen risk-taking. The teen brain seeks to maintain a high level of dopamine through the “rush” from participating in risky activities, such as driving recklessly in a car or ATV, or experimenting with alcohol and other drugs. Parents should provide their teens with safe, supervised experiences such as sports or other recreation that provide the thrill their brains seek.
Tips for parents of teens:
- Communicate with your teens about your concerns and your expectations about their behavior. Let them know that it is because you care that you want them to take precautions, such as wearing a helmet when skateboarding.
- Set firm boundaries. State your expectations and hold to them, including insisting on following curfew laws.
- Communicate your values and beliefs. Though it might not seem like it, teens often establish their own personal set of values based on those of their parents.
- Focus on issues that affect health and safety. For example, help your teens understand the health dangers involved in body piercing and tattooing, and perhaps tolerate their desire to dye their hair.
- Actively monitor your teen. Insist on knowing where your teens are and who they spend time with. Talk with other parents to find out how they will be chaperoning. (For example, will other parents actually walk throughout the entire party periodically or will they go to sleep and leave the teens on their own?).
All youth are at risk because adolescence is inherently a risky time of life. Good kids do find themselves in bad situations. The research is clear -- parents are the primary influence on their teen’s behavior. Communicate your expectations. Reinforce your values.